Small Business Jokes
small business jokes
Advice for Small Businesses Seeking to Succeed On Line
There is no shortage of hype on the Internet. A start up business does not have to look far to find a “Guru” who will offer a miracle solution for the “getting found” dilemma that faces every on line business. Typically, this product or weekend seminar (where many more products can be expected to be pitched) virtually guarantees overnight success. This information is usually at a significant price premium over the same information found in an existing book.
Okay, let’s get a reality check here. Let’s remove the on line component of this scenario and see how this advice applies in the offline world.
Let’s say you are looking to start a business and you hear that you can accomplish all your goals and be an overnight success by attending a pricey weekend seminar (or if your budget is small, you can still learn it all and succeed with the few hundred dollar CD version instead). Does this make any sense? While continuous learning is vital to growing your business, most off line business owners recognize that actions rather than miracle seminars will lead to success. They surely aren’t apt to spend over and over again every time a new variation of this sure fire technique is launched. Offline businesses owners know that there are better ways to spend money to develop their businesses. They realize that a business is built in stages and while they most likely are dreaming about the success that they will someday achieve, they certainly do not believe it will happen as soon as they hang up a shingle. They wisely do not believe success happens by following a magic formula.
Why then do so many individuals, wanting to start an online business, attend seminar after seminar and shell out thousands and thousands of dollars on silver bullets that lose their shine right after the conference is over? The logic of the offline business owner would dictate that there are better ways to spend in order to build a business. It seems that the illogical behaviors of these online wannabies are just fueling the internet marketing guru industry and leaving many would be entrepreneurs disillusioned and broke.
What is going on here? If you attend any of these conferences, you know it is quite common for the guru to be quite transparent. Small business entrepreneurs, eager for success, are taught that it is important to create a sense of urgency when pitching to their target markets. The guru then proceeds (in almost the next breath) to tell the conference attendees that if they act now (strangely only 17 available!) they will get special conference pricing on the guru’s product. It is amazing to see how many people jump up and run to make a purchase in the back of the room (right after the lesson about creating urgency).
Now, this is not to say that there are no valuable marketing lessons to be learned at these events. On the contrary, the very words the gurus use to stir up the crowds are extraordinary lessons in themselves. Additionally, most all of the gurus actually teach interesting ideas and provide useful information (one of the principles the gurus always teach is this: Your target market will love you if you give lots of great content away for free – which the gurus are actually demonstrating). The gurus usually laugh and joke with their audiences about how shamelessly obvious they are in promoting their products; but it does not stop the jumping up and running to the back of the room (to buy before the supply runs out).
Hype that is seamlessly woven in with the truth becomes irresistible to these crowds. No doubt about it. The very marketing techniques that are being taught are being used masterfully to get the audience to act. A huge carrot of success is being dangled in front of these spectators (extraordinary wealth is one of the common traits of the gurus) who want to be just like their mentors. I know how powerful and magnetic these events can be. Even when I finally decided to be an objective observer, the hype was hard to resist. I kid you not.
Is that it then? The secret to wealth is the masterful delivery of hype?
Hold on. There is another lesson the gurus teach. It too is true. They state that you must know your target audience. You must give them what they want …when they want it. Sales are rarely made to someone who is not at the right point in the selling cycle.
So what does this mean? Are conference attendees guru wannabies instead of real business start up people? Out of touch dreamers who are more interested in keeping the dream alive instead of taking actions that may risk failure? Ouch, that seems a bit harsh. How else do you explain thousands of dollars spent that most often never develop into anything further?
There is another explanation. The world of internet marketing is so new. The Internet has only been around for 10 years and is growing at an incredible rate. The offline rules do not seem to apply to the online world. The techniques needed to operate online as a business (rather than as a user) are quite foreign to most people. From this point of view it is quite easy to see why people look for guidance from those who have had success online.
Yes, the Internet is constantly changing and so are the things that businesses will need to do to succeed on line. A lot of that has to do with Google’s major mission in life; to provide user experiences that have quality and relevance. There is always something new on the Internet and small businesses will need to pay attention to the sound business practices of their successful off line business cousins. They can start by eliminating hype and then by treating their on line endeavors as serious businesses which requires long term strategies in addition to short term ones. On line business owners will need to take action instead of looking to some miracle out of the box solution to get a competitive advantage. Those who are still interested in the shortest path should consider spending their guru product dollars on the services of experts who can get it done for them. Not only is this the shortest path, it sounds like the most cost effective small business start up advice for success as well.
About the Author
Lori Olson has a passion for helping small businesses develop strong online presences with a team of 250 professionals who analyze & implement SEO, SEM, PPC Campaign Mgmt, Social Media,Copy Writing & Web Development strategies which are customized to fit any needs, wants & budget. Update Small Business also provides leading edge employee & sales assessment & training; & CRM solutions.Small Business Consulting or call 877.265.6568.
Do find it strange that only 2.7% of Obama’s stimulus package is going to small business/private sector?
When in fact these are what drive the economy.
His stimulus package is a joke.
Yes, it is a joke. What makes it worse is that it is a way for the Government to get bigger. I personally like the Constitution and Bill of Rights…not the socialistic country that Obama wants it to be. Look at what Ron Paul has to say about it…good indicator for how much of a Nanny State that Obama wants the US to be!
|
|
Town of Tonopah $1.99 … |
|
|
Designated Drivers $1.99 … |
|
|
San Bernardino / Da Spot $1.99 … |
|
|
101 Lawyer Jokes: Uncensored Jokes about Attorneys, Jokes about Judges, and Legal Gags Guaranteed to Crack You Up (also makes a great gift!) (101 Jokes) TOP TEN LEGAL PHRASES THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT AREN’T:10. Counselor, let’s do it in my chambers. 9. Have you looked through her briefs? 8. Can you get him to drop his suit? 7. He is one hard judge. 6. Better leave the handcuffs on. 5. Is it a penal offense? 4. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could. 3. For $200 an hour, she better be good. 2. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute. 1. Think yo… |
|
|
How to Write a REALLY Bad Grant Application (and Other Helpful Advice For Scientists) $13.64 Many people think that they do not need a book on “how to write a really bad grant application” – they already know how. Actually, this book is intended as a guide to writing grant applications that will get funded. One way to write a good grant application is to avoid writing a bad one. This book analyzes “bad” scientific grant applications from a humorous perspective. There are also some section… |
|
|
Make Money Fast! Drive Women Wild!: And Other Offers Too Good to Refuse from The Small Ads $13.99 The pulp magazines and comics that ran in one form or another for much of the 20th often carried cheap advertising, with shady entrepreneurs selling strange and exotic products “guaranteed to change your life”. These small black and white ads offered everything: guides and accessories to the erotic arts, cures for social inadequates,and fantastic skills and bizarre gadgets to wow your friends. All… |
|
|
ready for business school 100% Cotton Unisex Tee with funny Nameless Man joke design in over 30 colors $24.95 The Nameless Man tells the absurd, naked truth about a world run by techno-bureau-politically-corrected zombies. Wear these witty designs and show the ‘crats you are not just another bot sitting in a cubicle…. |
|
|
golfers do it with small balls 100% Cotton Unisex Tee with funny Fools of Engagement Joke Text $24.95 Show your friends that you do it your way… |
|
|
SHIT HAPPENS on Mens Cotton Tank Top (in 7 colors) Cotton Tank Top by Anvil. 6.1 oz., heavyweight 100% preshrunk cotton tank top, Quarter-turned, Matching binding on neck and armholes, Double-needle stitched hemmed bottom, Available in Adult & Youth sizes. Printed on Front of Shirt. Very vibrant print. Won’t peel or crack in washer/dryer. Sizes are as follows, W=Shirt Width, L=Shirt Length. All Measurements are in inches: (SMALL 18W 26L), (MEDIUM … |
|
|
MARKETING & SMALL BUSINESS ADVANTAGE $29.99 MARKETING & SMALL BUSINESS ADVANTAGE |
|
|
Jokes Over $21.99 Jokes Over – T-Shirt |
|
|
GoVenture: Small Business $495 GoVenture Small Business simulates day-to-day experiences typical in starting and running a small business. Students experience all aspects of running a small business from hiring, inventory, sales marketing to evaluating customer satisfaction. |
|
|
FORTUNE GOLD 10.0 FOR SMALL BUSINESS $99.99 FORTUNE GOLD 10.0 FOR SMALL BUSINESS |
|
|
Small Business Management Series, Strategies - $24.99 Small Business Management Series, Strategies - |
|
|
Jokes $5.21 This book is in New – Excellent condition |
|
|
Jokes? $16.53 No Synopsis Available |
|
|
Small Business Advantage Deluxe $10.49 Everything you need to market your business more effectively. As a small business owner, you may not have the marketing staff or sales tools you need to take your business to the next level. Small Business Advantage includes all the marketing solutions you need to launch e-mail marketing campaigns, create business cards, write professional letters, and create newsletters, product catalogs, flyers, and more. |
|
|
Small Business Advantage 2 $23.99 The Ultimate Collection of Business Tools 20 Essential Tools to Grow Your Business |
|
|
Small Business $10.67 This book is in Good Used condition |
|
|
These Are Jokes [PA] $12.99 Track Listing: 1. Start, The, 2. Some Jokes, 3. Remix, The, 4. Other Jokes, 5. Sames and Opposites, 6. These Jokes, 7. Personal Information Waltz, 8. One Story, 9. Some More Jokes, 10. Jokes with Guitar, The, 11. Grapes Song, The, 12. Wisdom Song, The, 13. [Untitled Track] |
|
|
Broken Hearts and Fart Jokes $14.99 Broken Hearts and Fart Jokes |
|
|
Grandstream Small Business IP Phone GXP1200 $62.06 Grandstream Small Business IP Phone GXP1200 |
|
|
Grandstream Basic Small-Business IP Phone GXP1405 $59.19 Grandstream Basic Small-Business IP Phone GXP1405 |
|
|
Small Business Pro wall mount kit $46.99 Cisco Small Business Pro – Wall mount kit – for Small Business SPA 303 |
|
|
Jokes Jokes Jokes $3.99 This book is in New – Excellent condition |
|
|
Juniors: Jokes Over $21.99 Juniors: Jokes Over – T-Shirt |
|
|
Skunk Jokes Jokes Mousepad by CafePress $13 Skunk Jokes Jokes Mousepad Keep your mouse rolling in style on our durable cloth top mousepad. A great gift for geeks, gamers, or anyone with a computer. Rubber backing prevents the mousepad from sliding. Machine washable. |
|
|
Symantec Protection Suite v.3.0 Small Business Edition Business Pack $196.99 20010149 Protection Suite v.3.0 Small Business Edition Business Pack Software Licensing Symantec Symantec Corporation www.symantec.com |
|
|
Symantec Endpoint Protection Small Business Edition Business Pack $33.99 20032623 Endpoint Protection Small Business Edition Business Pack Software Licensing Symantec Symantec Corporation www.symantec.com |
|
|
Small Business Owner at His Bakery in New Jersey $39.99 Eightfish Small Business Owner at His Bakery in New Jersey – Photographic Print |
|
|
Microsoft Office 2007 Small Business $233.99 1 PC 9QA-01757 V.2With MS Office Professional 2007 (Trial) License Medialess License Kit (MLK) Microsoft Microsoft Corporation OEM Office 2007 Small Business PC Software Licensing Windows www.microsoft.com |
|
|
McAfee Total Protection for Small Business $141.99 5 User Processor: Intel Pentium or compatible architecture Operating System: Workstations: Windows 2000 Professional with SP2 or later Windows XP Home or Professional Windows Vista (32-bit) Windows XP/Vista (64-bit) Servers: Windows 2000 with Service Pack 2 or later Windows 2000 Advanced Server with Service Pack 2 or later Windows 2000 Small Business Server with Service Pack 2 or later Windows Server 2003 Standard/Enterprise/Web Edition Windows Small Business Server 2003 Memory: 64MB RAM Others: Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.5 with Service Pack 2 or later Total protection means a comprehensive security solution that is always on, always ready, and always up to date-not just in the office, but also when remote. McAfee offers small businesses the industry’s first truly integrated security solutions, managed by a single console, and at affordable prices. Delivered as a McAfee-hosted single solution, both versions of McAfee Total Protection for Small Business protect against viruses, spyware, spam, hackers, and identity thieves. CD-ROM Complete Product Internet Security McAfee McAfee, Inc PC Retail Security Small Business Software Standard TSB00M005PAA Total Protection Total Protection for Small Business www.mcafee.com |
|
|
Church: Goldfish (Jokes, Magic and Souvenirs) - $24.99 Church: Goldfish (Jokes, Magic and Souvenirs) - |
|
|
Small Business : An Entrepreneur’s Business Plan $158.61 No Synopsis Available |
